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Thursday, January 29th, 2009
12:08 am
why does the asshole who lives next to me only play loud music late at night on weekdays? why is his sub woofer against my wall? why are there always screaming Europeans? why do I have class tomorrow at 9? why do I have a cold? but seriously, fuck that guy.

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Sunday, December 21st, 2008
10:31 am
I cannot BELIEVE that I am at home on break and writing a paper. Is there no justice in the world? I want to go sledding! I am going to have to procure a sled. Somehow...

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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
1:08 pm - as the sun goes down on my last day at bard...
my profile picture changed without my knowledge. I do not even know who that guy is. oh well. now it is a koala!
two papers to go and I cannot wait to get the hell out of here. but its strange, as I was bolting from the film building to the library I got this weird feeling that I might miss it here, just a little bit. I obviously do like it here, I just need to be a away from people/person and I wanna go hoooooooooome! on top of that I am damn tired of education and I am not sure just how many more papers I can write. I could just leave and make movies, right? but then there is that whole when plan A fails thing... also Kelly Reichardt not only thinks I am an awesome film student, but also a good actor... HAHAHAHA
the shuttle that was gong to be tomorrow at noon is now at ten, this is better for my flight and worse for my sanity. I now have two hours less to get shit done. I am really not sure when I am going to pack and I am pretty sure that there is no sleep to be had. anyway, I am procrastinating (obviously), see you guys tomorrow!

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Monday, November 24th, 2008
9:17 am - Thanksgiving
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wish that I didn't have SO MUCH to do before then... and during then. I am filming a scene from far from heaven with my parents over break in a hotel for my narrative workshop. The scene where Julianne Moore catches her husband Dennis Quaid making out with a dude. I am really nervous to film it. I have never seen my parents act and my teacher really likes me and expects a lot from me so I am pretty nervous.

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Monday, November 17th, 2008
1:52 pm
SO I needed to read a portion of a book for today, What Liberal Media? by Eric Alterman. I waited until yesterday to get it for whatever reason, but went I got to the bookstore it was closed. Fuck Sundays. The library said check the shelves but it was not there. SO, new plan; wake up early today, get the book at the now open bookstore and read like hell until class at 1:30. Brilliant! Until I get to the bookstore and they do not have a single copy. I was in no mood for this so I came back to my room and emailed my professor and told him that I was sick. Mental health day I guess. I NEED it too, life has been getting me down lately and this is just another wrench that I do not need.

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Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
11:31 pm - Hey LJ, been a while
i had an urge and so i am posting. it has been a while, a long while, since i have been on this site let alone posted. i wonder why that is.
i am in a very strange mood tonight. me and perry went on a nice walk because it is so lovely and cool outside. i got totally lost in my head and have not been able to find my way out. maybe it is because moderation is just a heartbeat away or perhaps it is just a quarter life crisis. i have started to think about what i will do if i don't moderate, not in a freak out omg i'm not going to make it sense but in an, ok what is my next step sort of way. move to california? go to shipping school? i am seeing my whole life before my eyes but not what has happened, what will happen. it is all foggy though.
i have been trying to figure out what i need to change to make my life go the way i want it to and i have been thinking about which way that is exactly. if you know me, you know that i am indecisive, but it has gotten so much worse. i can make hardly any decisions AT ALL simply because i do not care i am fine with anything and so cannot decide between things. i just want someone to tell me what to do with my life. i have any talent or idea? how do i get my ideas out? lately i have been writing down ideas and coming up with them to write down ALL THE TIME. this is awesome, finally. i'm not sure though if they are any good. at least i have some. at the same time i realize alllllll of my limitations and the great talent of my peers in a very real way. basically my mind is going a million places at a million miles an hour.
isn't it crazy ow life happens? it just happens all of the time and we adapt and grow and forget the hardships that happened before. this too shall pass. weird. everything is weird right now. i just made a beastly 100 song nostalgic playlist, perhaps this will bring me back to to high school, more likely it will just add to the weirdness of tonight.

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Monday, October 22nd, 2007
11:04 am
i was in the library for 12 hours yesterday and due to intense procrastination, i did not finish my paper. now i have about 23.5 hours till my enormous test and i have about two more pages to write. i also have to put in a few hours on my painting. at least it will all be over on wednesday. kill me now.

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Sunday, October 21st, 2007
12:23 pm
10 page paper due tuesday when i have a test on the whole semester so far in psych. i MUST finish this paper TODAY. you'd think that after learning my lesson so many times i wouldn't have to keep learning it, but i seem to have to learn it at least once for every class i ever take. fuck.

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Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
11:09 am
secrets secrets they're no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone.

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Tuesday, October 9th, 2007
4:12 pm - fall break
fall break was mostly good. on saturday it was just me and perry and charlotte which was primo. we went out to the biggest breakfast i have ever seen at the historic diner then hit up an antiques store and carved pumpkins. it was grrrrrreat to not have everyone around. that night me and perry drove up to these random peoples house and stayed there. it was like we got there, they showed us how to use the tv and went to sleep. we had never met them before, it was very trusting. he and i stayed up late talking in the kitchen and eating pumpkin seeds from earlier. i slept like a baby on my aero bed and in the morning we got up and filmed the hudson valley festival for them. it was this small town farmer's market kind of thing which we are to make a promotional video for, we'll see how that goes. it was kinda fun actually, we got to go on a boat and film the site from the river. that night me and perry and charlotte were reunited and we made a pie and us and doug housed it in 3 minutes. perry and chris have become jamming partners which is a wonderful thing, there was plenty of that going on. the boys got back from their camping trip early and got wasted in tommy's room and i missed it being just me charlotte and perry. the next day i got my wish when the three of went to an apple picking place. it was super cool and i basically want one. on the way back we stopped at this little organic store and got gelato and cheese from a farm that we had tried at the hudson valley festival. it was cute, i think we will go back there again. when we got back we all went to chris's house to make apple cider (he lives ~20 mins away) and eat pizza then have a jam session in his living room, haha. he and perry are trying to get down alive with the glory of love which is excellent. then a lot of shit happened and now it is today. i could do without last night but the rest of break was good and even last night had some good moments, there was a thunder storm and we went frolicking in the rain (for example).

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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
7:37 pm
after an amazing metaphor of my construction, code-name water-snake is born. It was a crazy weekend.

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Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
10:42 am
taking painting was a very bad idea. i cannot draw. why did i not take sculpture and work with my hands, something that i am good at? i can't even recall my thought process but it was a bad one.
last night i watched the fountain, i can't decide if it was fantastic or stupid but it definitely was one of those two options.
today i am going to go out and film my very first project for film, excited! when i did a test reel last week it was way out of focus so i am afraid i am going to fuck it up and just be horrible at working with film, but only time will tell.
hmmm, all of the 43 pictures that i got from cvs for $6 are on my wall of love (there are so many faces looking at me!!!), now i just need to put up the millions of pictures i cut out from magazines. i went through gq's 50 most stylish men of all time so lets just say i have a lot of clippings to put up.

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Sunday, September 23rd, 2007
7:24 pm
well, i had a weekend. white russian friday and cheap red wine saturday are gone and now it is too burnt out to do anything sunday. i stepped on my glasses and they are a bit destroyed. i want to watch a movie.

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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
1:25 am - end of house season 3
what?

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Monday, September 17th, 2007
10:10 pm
it is the same old shit but i don't feel the same about it. whatever shall i do?

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Thursday, September 13th, 2007
3:01 pm
here, for anyone wants to call me but needs to know when i am busy, is my schedule:

MON: film 1:30-4:30
TUE: psych 10:30-11:50, painting 1:30-4:30
WED: lit 1:30-2:50
THU: psych 10:30-11:50
FRI: lit 1:30-2:50

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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
9:02 pm
i went on a really nice, long walk with charlotte and harriet today. also, my box came... i mean, the box of clothes that i sent to myself came to me in the mail today. yay more clothes! i finished harry potter last night and now i am sad. concentrating on school is still so hard!

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Sunday, September 9th, 2007
2:49 am
i just played a complete game of monopoly and i owned as first scott then perry and finally alyshia each fell to the wrath of my orange monopoly power, i had over $4000 not including my properties at the end. earlier me and perry saw 2 days in paris which was really quite funny. there was a thunder and lightning storm today, it was neat and it rained in sheets of dollop sized drops. i even went to the gym. all in all it was a pretty good saturday.

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Thursday, September 6th, 2007
8:36 pm
this semester is sooooooo fucking expensive! i had to buy 11 books for my lit class, spend around $300 on paint supplies and now it is gonna cost me at least about $150 for film. thank god alyshia had my psych textbook or that would have been another $100+

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Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
12:14 am
i have had a great couple of days, let's hope it lasts.

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